Journal
by kitsune-lilith
Summary: Eriol promised Tomoyo that he will return to Tomoeda. Will he be able to keep that promise, or will fate sepatarate them once more?


This is story is not in any way connected to the series.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, nor Tomoyo, nor Eriol. But I do wish I could own Syaoran.hehehe.  
  
Authors notes  
  
Im sorry for those who were expecting a second chapter of Eyes on me. I was actually planning on putting this one shot first, but didn't finish on time.Gomen.  
  
But the second chappie is on its way.probably next week. Please be patient.and review!  
  
This is dedicated to Tenshi. aishiteru.  
  
Hope you enjoy this one.  
  
Arigato, minna-san!  
  
-kitsune_lilith  
  
Journal  
  
Today was just another day to Tomoyo Daidouji. The same café latte for breakfast, the only thing that she takes before going to work. Yup, everything was perfectly normal.  
  
At least before her personal assistant gave her a blue envelope. There was something about that envelope that made her feel uneasy, so she decided to read it in her room.  
  
Ill be coming back to fulfill my promise 3 years ago.  
  
-Eriol  
  
"After 2 years of not answering my letters and calls, he gives me this piece of shit?!"  
  
Her shout could be heard from upstairs, which startled everyone in the Daidouji mansion. Never in their lives have they heard her curse out loud. She must be really angry.  
  
True, her voice did sound angry, but her eyes tell another story.  
  
She could not stop the tears from pouring down her pale cheeks. Even though he suddenly left her 3 years ago to marry a woman named Kaho Mizuki, left her in Tomoeda while he chose to live in London, did not answer her letters for the past 2 years.She could never hate Eriol. She still loves him after all what happened.after all these years.  
  
Questions flooded her head once more. All the 'whys' and 'what ifs' from the last 3 years of her pathetic life came back to haunt her once more. She actually thought that she was over him already, conviced that she could live normally once again, but look at one stupid letter can do. Its not even a decent letter.no explainations whatsoever. But this letter ruined her life. All those years of trying to move on went down the drain.  
  
All because of a letter.  
  
A letter from him.  
  
Tomoyo spent all 3 days in her room, isolated from the outside world. The people in the toy company that her mother left her were already going berserk. A bunch of dependent people who is not used to Daidoji's absence. The stocks are going down, investors backing out.they could not handle this without her. Of course she knew that, but she couldn't care less.  
  
Today was the day that he promised to come back..  
  
Today.  
  
She went to Penguin Park as early as 8 in the morning. She sat in their usual place, in the swing near the 4th cherry tree.  
  
"I missed this place." she sighed "I guess I've been too busy with the company."  
  
She wore a plain white dress that flattred her figure, after an hour of deciding what to wear. She may deny it, but she wanted to look good for Eriol.  
  
10:23  
  
2 hours had already passed since she sat in that swing. Her eyes were a little tired from reading the pocket book that she brought along.  
  
"I wonder what he looks like." She placed the book on the ground and started to kick the ground to push the swing higher. It would be good if someone would push the swing for her. Her thoughts wandered back in the past where she and Eriol were still together. This was their favorite spot, and she could still remember the azure-eyed boy pushing the swing for her. They used to laugh, and talk about anything in this same place.  
  
Its been 7 hours and Eriol still wasn't there. She was tired and hungry. She did not eat anything for the day except for the sandwich she had for breakfast. She already finished reading her pocketbook twice.  
  
7 long hours.  
  
"Eriol."  
  
"You said you'll be here."  
  
Tears fell from her eyes. It was the second time that he broke his promise.  
  
"Daidouji-sama!" a very worried maid came to open the door for her. "We were so worried.people came here looking for you.they said it was urgent.but we didn't know where you went.and you left your cellphone at home.and." the poor girl was in the verge of tears.  
  
"It's okay. Calm down." Tomoyo reassured her "Now tell me what they said."  
  
"They're still here.they said that they will wait for you." the maid replied, leading Tomoyo to the living room.  
  
A red haired woman was sitting on the couch. There was another man, about 40 in age, sitting beside her. Tomoyo did not know the man, but she will never forget the face of that woman.  
  
Kaho Mizuki.  
  
She felt like a knife stabbed her heart. Maybe he did came back. Along with his wife.  
  
"Good afternoon, Hiragizawa-san." she greeted. The woman did not reply. She just sat there and kept her head down.  
  
"Eriol.is gone."  
  
"Pardon me?" asked Tomoyo, not quite sure that she heard her right.  
  
"He's dead." the woman replied.  
  
"No."  
  
She refused to believe the word that Kaho said. He can't be dead.  
  
"We came here to Japan because he said that he wanted to see you." Kaho explained, still crying "He just dropped me in the hotel, then left.3 hours later, a police called.and said..that there was.a car accident.and .and."  
  
"No." she shook her head "You're lying!"  
  
The woman threw her an icy stare. "How can you say that?! Do you think this is something that I would lie about?" she exclaimed. "I wish that someone would also tell me that this is all a lie.'  
  
Tomoyo wanted to speak, but no words came out.  
  
Just pain.  
  
And tears.  
  
Eriol's burial was simple, but almost all the people in Tomoda was there. His friends from London also came.  
  
But Tomoyo still couldn't belive that he is gone. The girl rested her head in her best friends shoulders. Sakura and Syaoran also came to Japan when they heard about what happened. Tomoyo was thankful that they came. Sakura always had a way of easing the pain that she felt, but this time, there was nothing anyone can do.  
  
But Sakura was still there to comfort her.  
  
Tomoyo was no longer crying. She had no more tears to cry. But the heartache was still there. It will always be there, along with the memory of her beloved Eriol.  
  
"I tried my best to make him love me, but I never succeded" Kaho told her "I actually envy you, Daidouji-san. I may have been married to him for the past 3 years, but you always had his heart."  
  
"Aside from his mansion here in Japan, and a dress shop he bought especially for you," she continued while handing the puzzeld girl something "it was also written in his last will that we give you his journal"  
  
Kaho turned around. "I'll be going to back to London in an hour."  
  
"Arigato" was all that Tomoyo could say.  
  
All those who came for Eriol's burial already went home, except for an amethyst-eyed lady who was reading his journal.  
  
Everyting from their elementary to college days were there. Everything that happened was written in detail. Her every call and message were recorded there, including the date and time. The emails she sent him was printed and kept in the pocket in the front side of the journal. There was also and envelope which contained all of the letters that she sent to him. He kept everything.  
  
She kept on reading, and reminiscing the good old times. She read it all with a smile, but also with tears in her eyes. She knew that they can never go back to those days.  
  
Never again.  
  
She left the cementary and decided to continiue reading in the park. She sat in their favorite swing in Penguin Park and opened the journal once more. Tears rolled down her cheeks as the answers to her questions were answered by his entires.  
  
My dad arranged my wedding to Kaho Mizuki beacause it was the only way to save the company. We owe a lot to their family, and marrying her was the only way to pay for our debts. He sold me. Used me. I tried to protest, but I knew that his decision was final. He still controls my life after all these years.  
  
She cried ever harder as she read his entries one by one. How he pretended that his wedding was theirs, his future plans for their family.  
  
She once told me that she wanted a garden wedding.too bad I couldn't be his groom anymore. If only I told her how I feel.then maybe.just maybe.she'd say that she felt the same. Then I can survice each day of my life knowing that she loves me too.  
  
Dad may have sold se, but the contract can never rule my heart. I will love only Tomoyo Daidouiji for the rest of my life. Forever and beyond.  
  
His last entry was written on November 26, the same day that he died in that car accident. It was a lot shorter than most of his usual entries, but the words written there broke her heart the most.  
  
Im coming back to the place where we used to go. I promised her that I would come back, just before I left Japan. I even sent her a letter just to make sure that she doesn't forget. She has to come. I've waited for this day a long time. I will tell her everything.that she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can't believe that it took me this long to gather enough courage to tell her.  
  
Today, I tell her I love her.  
  
His last words caused her heart to stop, as more tears came. All her life, she had been waiting for him to say those words.  
  
One more day, or a few more hours.then maybe she would have heard it directly from Eriol.Then at least she would have a chance to tell him that she felt the same way.  
  
how her heart had always belonged to him.  
  
and that she had waited for him all her life.  
  
or at least to spend some time with him.  
  
to say goodbye.  
  
or to see him one last time.  
  
But fate can sometimes be cruel, and fairy tales doesn't always have a happy ending.  
  
Author's notes  
  
Did you like it? Does it suck? pathetic? Then please tell me.anything.  
  
onegai..  
  
And please try reading my other work, Eyes on me. It's my first fanfic, so please be patient if I don't update on a regular basis.  
  
This is the first time that I'm writing something and letting people read it.so I need you opinion. I do want to improve so that I can write better stuff for you people.  
  
And if any of you have suggestions or comments, please tell me. Just push the review button, or email me at aishiteru_angel@eudoramail.com. Reviews means so much to me.they inspire me and helps me type faster. The more, the merrier!!!  
  
I promise to update as soon as I can.  
  
Arigato!  
  
-kitsune_lilith 


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